


Ashes On the Water

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Challenge Response, Episode Related, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-08-24
Updated: 1999-08-24
Packaged: 2018-11-10 18:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11132724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Result of a challenge to write what really happened between Fraser and RayK to start the fight on the dock in MotB. This story is a sequel to Not In the Least.





	Ashes On the Water

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Untitled

 

This is a "missing scene" story that takes place during the  
events of Asylum, later on the day of the press conference. It was inspired  
by Te's story "Volpe" and is a sequel to Latonya's story "Not In  
the Least", all part of the Volpe Asylum AU.  
  
This story is not meant to reap profit from the characters belonging  
to Alliance...yada...yada...yada...  
  
Ashes On the Water  
by Meghan Black  
  
The consulate was quiet for the first time in days. Almost too quiet.  
Thatcher was still trying to enjoy the afterglow of her day at the spa,  
despite the welcome which greeted here upon her return. Turnbull was  
gone for the day, and Fraser was writing his report, dutiful as ever,  
despite the turmoil of emotions which threatened to send him into a spiral  
of confusion and a vague sense of loss. He wasn't sure why he felt the  
latter, but firmly pushed any analysis aside until later...when he was  
truly alone.  
  
A conflicting wish that was. Fraser knew that he would not be able to  
make sense of the scene in the conference room the night before until  
he could truly examine and dissect the issue. That would take time and  
solitude. On the other hand, Ray was still here...he could feel the  
man's presence as surely as if he were sitting in front the desk, feet  
propped on highly polished wood. And he didn't want him to leave.  
  
Fraser wasn't sure why Ray hadn't gone home yet. He hadn't asked and  
Ray had not volunteered a reason. It was enough that he remained and  
more than enough to send Fraser into a spiral of chaos. He looked off  
into space, allowing himself the luxury of being lost in that moment  
in the conference room when Ray had kissed him...and he'd answered that  
kiss with just a portion of the love, longing and tenderness he'd kept  
buried. No, he hadn't minded in the least.  
  
Finally the report sat complete, neat and tidy on the corner of the Constable's  
desk. Now what to do? Dief raised his head and was instantly on his  
feet as Fraser stood and stretched his back before heading out. His  
hand rested lightly on the door for a split second before he turned the  
knob, emotionally bracing himself for whatever may lay beyond the bounds  
of his office.  
  
Ray sat cross legged in the hallway, swirling the lightweight chain of  
his bracelet around his wrist. Fraser watched him with an inexplicable  
longing to reach out and brush a hand lightly across the soft brush of  
Ray's hair. He wished he knew what was in Ray's head right this instant.  
But the man on the floor didn't look up immediately, so Fraser found  
it difficult to make a judgement on Ray's state of mind. He had always  
been able to read his partner's quicksilver moods through his eyes and  
the way he held himself...bounding energy or sulky slack shoulders.   
He knew Ray so well...he'd thought.  
  
"Ray? You're still here." Fraser wasn't usually given to  
stating the obvious, but he didn't feel it was the time or place to say  
what he really wanted to. //Do you still want to kiss me? Have you  
grieved enough?//  
  
Ray finally acknowledged his partner's presence and graced him with a  
look Fraser recognized as his own...about 25 years ago. A boy...uncertain,  
but brave. Determined to see the situation through, regardless of circumstances  
or consequences. He couldn't help smiling down at Ray and barely helped  
reaching his hand out to him.  
  
"I..uh...I figured we needed to talk some. You know...get some  
things straight." Ray hefted himself up and winced as he unfolded  
one long leg from the other. "Wanna go in your office?"  
  
That seemed safe enough, Fraser thought. Inside the consulate. His  
home territory, literally. With a brief nod, he turned back to return  
to the recently vacated room. Dief seemed somewhat disgusted with his  
fickleness and padded off towards the kitchen to see what might be found.  
  
When Ray was inside, Fraser closed the door and leaned back against it.  
Oh yeah, he was scared. Scared of what Ray was about to say, scared  
he'd played the wrong hand the night before. Fraser was not good at  
this game and felt like a fish floundering on land. He hated not knowing  
the rules he had to play by.  
  
Apparently Ray did not feel the need to pretend this conversation was  
going to be about anything other than what they both knew needed discussing.  
"What's the deal between us now?"  
  
Fraser was startled by the abruptness of the question. It wasn't like  
Ray to be so direct. So succinct. "I don't believe we have made  
any sort of deal, Ray. You were my partner and still are to my knowledge.  
Unless there is something you'd like to tell me..." he trailed off,  
not even wanting to go there. Was that what Ray wanted to get straight?  
"You're still my friend too." That should put that issue to  
rest.  
  
Whatever had possessed Ray to blurt out what was on his mind seemed to  
have fled with Dief. He looked down, once more fidgeting with his bracelet.  
That act brought Fraser's attention to Ray's hands. Long, slender fingers  
that had reached out to him, caught his face between warm palms and pulled  
him into the kiss which Fraser had only imagined could be so sweet.   
He flushed at the memory and felt the slow burn move upward into his  
hair. Luckily Ray still did not look up to see the result of Fraser's  
wayward thoughts. Enough! More was at stake in this room than the results  
of a kiss. They both knew it.  
  
"Partners." Had Fraser only imagined the word, softly murmured.  
No, he mustn't jump to conclusions. Mustn't speculate that he'd heard  
that touch of cynicism in Ray's voice that always made him wince.  
  
"Yes, Ray...partners. I think we make very good partners."  
And so much more...or could be. "Perhaps you need more time to  
think this through." It certainly wasn't like Ray to have figured  
things out this quickly. He remembered his resolve to give the man time  
and space.  
  
"No, I spent the whole night thinking, Fraser. I haven't slept  
in two days and it wasn't because of all the other things that've been  
going on. It's because I don't understand why you let me kiss you last  
night." The cat let go of Ray's tongue once more and Fraser could  
hardly keep up with the string of words which poured like sour milk from  
Ray's mouth.  
  
"Would you rather I hadn't?" He had to know this, if nothing  
else.  
  
Ray shook his head and for the first time looked up straight into Fraser's  
face. Unflinchingly meeting the gaze that had drawn him like a moth  
to a summer's blue flame. "Oh no you don't. You're not going to  
answer my question with another question. That works for most people,  
but I've been around you long enough to know your tricks."  
  
Why was Ray being so harsh? The bitterness in his voice made Fraser  
almost flinch. Certainly he was recoiling inside, retreating into his  
safe Mountie shell. "If you say so, Ray." He would not argue  
with him.  
  
Ray's exasperation increased exponentially to Fraser's calm acceptance.  
The tall, lanky form sprang from the office chair and began pacing.   
This was the Ray Fraser knew and loved. Loved. Like a pale panther,  
he glided, but always watched Fraser. Didn't waver his glance from Fraser's  
face. "You're always *so* accepting. So...so..."not in the  
least"! Ray wasn't making any real sense, but Fraser knew exactly  
what he meant.  
  
The uniformed man walked slowly to his desk and took a seat behind the  
stack of neatly bound reports. He shrunk a little further back into  
himself. "Ray, to me friendship means total acceptance. To care  
for someone not because of what they are, but in spite of it."   
He recalled his father's words during one of their late night discussions.  
Funny how he couldn't even remember what they had been talking about.  
Strange indeed.  
  
"You care for me...in spite of me?" Ray stopped and leaned  
into the desk, hands splayed out across the wood bracing his tense frame.  
"Fraser do you think I kissed you just to get a reaction last night?  
Well, I didn't. I kissed you to make you see...make you understand who  
and what your partner really is. You weren't *supposed* to kiss me back!"  
The unspoken 'freak' lay between them like the knowledge of who Volpe  
really was to Ray.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry if my reaction was not what you anticipated, but  
if you had let me know...perhaps I could have accommodated you."  
Fraser knew he was being very...irritating, but something inside of him  
was beginning to get enough of Ray's self-pity party. He knew Ray must  
have spent his whole life achieving reactions with his 'in your face'  
approach. It was how he dealt. It was Fraser's opinion that it was now  
time to stop such behavior. At least with him. With his partner. They  
owed each other more.  
  
Ray was about to explode and Fraser knew only one way to stop the eruption.  
He stood and leaned over the desk, pulling Ray to him by placing both  
hands on either side of the angular face. He sealed soft lips with his  
own before they could utter more challenges.  
  
This time the kiss held the frantic fear that Fraser had smothered all  
evening. It told Ray that he could have had him...could have chosen  
more wisely...for love and not just sex. For friendship and not just  
company on a lonely night. Whether Ray could feel that...would interpret  
as such...well, only time would tell.  
  
Ray's mouth worked beneath Fraser's lips and a soft moan escaped through  
one of the millimeters of space that separated them now. Fraser was  
startled, but pleased when Ray's tongue searched for entry and he eagerly  
granted it. The kiss deepened until the two were one and all the challenges  
took flight on a whim. And all of a sudden there wasn't enough air in  
his office and Fraser had to break the contact and gasp before searching  
Ray's face...those sad blue/gray eyes for some sign that he'd read the  
kiss correctly.  
  
But Ray was looking down once more and beginning to step back, out of  
Fraser's reach. The cold, hard wood of the desk separated them once  
more and Fraser could not make his feet move to walk around the barrier.  
He would not ask Ray the same question he'd been asked. //So, if I did  
this, it wouldn't bother you?// He didn't want to take the chance.   
For once the truth held little attraction for him. Or, at least what  
he assumed to be the truth.  
  
He watched in fascination as Ray shook his head and laughed. A harsh,  
bitter sound that sent chills down Fraser's spine. "You sure know  
how to shut a guy up, Frase." But it wasn't said in that teasing  
banter. The comradarie they'd shared for almost a year seemed but a  
fragment of a dream. Fraser felt empty as Ray's words echoed through  
his soul.  
  
And in that void, there were no words left to say. He knew he should  
be making them talk it out. Forcing the issue so that Ray might acknowledge  
that their partnership wasn't over...there was more...or could be if  
he only wished to reach out for it. For the first time in his life,  
Fraser let pride stand in the way of right. If Ray wanted things to  
be this way, so be it. He couldn't fight him any longer.  
  
So, despite the fact that they were in his office, Benton Fraser opened  
and walked out the door and down the hall, leaving Ray standing in the  
same spot he'd occupied as they kissed goodbye.  
  
*********************  
  
The next day when a case they'd been handed resulted in being cornered  
on the wharves of the lake, Fraser felt trapped...inexplicably and hopelessly  
trapped, for the first time since Ray Kowalski had come into his life.  
For once he didn't feel invulnerable...like they could escape anything  
as long as they relied on each other.  
  
He and Ray had argued about everything since meeting up at the station  
that morning. From the way Fraser spoke to Dief to why they'd taken  
one route as opposed to another on the way to the docks. It wasn't the  
usual banter...the usual "you're a freak, Fraser." It was  
personal and they both said things to hurt the other.  
  
When the climax of the chase arrived and both of them lay crouched undercover  
with bullets raining down around them, Fraser wanted to grab Ray by the  
collar and literally throw him into the icy lake. He tried to stop this  
overpowering urge, but something gnawed his insides, pushing Ray verbally  
in a way he would not allow himself to do physically.  
  
Therefore, the fight was inevitable. How could it have ended otherwise?  
Fraser watched in morbid fascination, almost anticipating the impact  
of Ray's fist as it approached his face. He even raised his chin a fraction  
of an inch to meet the blow.  
  
The blinding instant of pain before he brought his head back around to  
face Ray was like ice water. Clarity returned and Fraser new, sadly,  
that their partnership was over. The promise of what might have been,  
knocked from their grasp with the fisting of a hand.  
  
Fraser gathered his hopes around him and placed them tidily back under  
his Stetson. His thumb swiped at the trickle of blood at the corner of  
his mouth and he pressed against the wound harder than necessary to stop  
the trembling of his lips. He and Ray locked gazes for too many seconds  
and it was all Fraser could do not to let the look in those stormy eyes  
spark one last flicker of hope, cause the hope to flare and ignite once  
more. That fire was out and the ashes now floated on the choppy waters  
of Lake Michigan.  
  
End


End file.
